


You Had Your Soul With You

by empireoffclouds



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jos Verstappen's A+ Parenting, M/M, Pining, it's not very graphic but I do describe the bruises, not beta read we die like (wo)men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:00:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25779319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empireoffclouds/pseuds/empireoffclouds
Summary: Daniel starts to notice bruises on Max's body that don't look at all accidental, no matter how hard the younger man tries to convince him otherwise. And he might have let it slide, if it wasn't for how hopelessly in love with him he really was.
Relationships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen
Comments: 17
Kudos: 162





	You Had Your Soul With You

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm finally back with a new story, this time about Max and Daniel because I just love their dynamic and I got hit with this idea while listening to The National (hence the title) and getting angsty thoughts. 
> 
> Just a quick disclaimer: domestic violence and child abuse are very serious matters, and if any of you is suffering because of them or know anyone who is I urge you to please seek help, because there is never an instance where it's acceptable.
> 
> With that being said, I hope you enjoy this and please do come find me on my tumblr @mexstappen.

Daniel couldn’t be in a better mood. During the two days of practice he and Max had experienced a ridiculous amount of problems with their cars, and it had even come to a point where the team wasn’t sure if they’d be able to race. However, against all odds, all the issues seemed to have vanished in qualifying – and somehow Dan had gotten P4 while Max was on P3.

It wasn’t pole, but after the past few days they’d had it sure felt like it.

So that was why Dan was practically skipping as he made his way to Max’s room, hoping to convince him to have a little hangout session back at the hotel with Netflix and whichever healthy food room service could offer that didn’t completely suck.

He was so comfortable around his teammate that he didn’t even think to knock before opening the door to the little driver’s room.

“Hey Maxy, what do you say we – oh”

Max jumped about a foot in the air at the sudden noise, turning to look at Dan with wide eyes that made him resemble a deer caught in headlights.

“Jesus Christ Dan, you scared me”

The Dutchman smiled at his friend, but the smile turned into a confused frown when he noticed the way Dan was looking at him.

Daniel slowly walked closer to him – as though he was approaching a spooked cat – with his eyes fixed on a spot on Max’s bare shoulder. The usually pale skin was blooming with a dark purple bruise, which took up most of the shoulder and even extended to the top of his triceps.

It wasn’t until Dan lifted up his hand to touch him that Max realized why he was acting strange, and he instantly went bright red.

“Oh that’s – ah, I don’t –“

Max flinched when Daniel’s fingertips brushed against the bruise, quickly stepping away from him and throwing on a random shirt that had been hanging on a chair.

“What happened to you?” Daniel finally asked, his voice soft and laced with worry.

If it was possible Max flushed even harder, averting his gaze and nervously rubbing the nape of his neck.

“I, um, I guess I probably knocked it against a wall or something”

If Max’s body language hadn’t already been screaming _liar_ , the stutter of his voice would have been enough to convince Dan that something was seriously wrong.

“That looks pretty nasty for you not to remember how you got it” the Aussie pressed, the bad feeling he got in his gut only growing when Max just shrugged, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Well I don’t know what to tell you, it was an accident, that’s all”

Daniel still wasn’t convinced, but he was too familiar with that look that was in Max’s eyes – the look he got when he put up every single wall he had built around himself throughout his life. That look had been a permanent presence during the first few weeks of them knowing each other, but as Dan managed to worm his way into Max’s life, the look had gradually disappeared.

Needless to say, he hated whenever it came back.

So Dan just sighed, deciding to let the subject drop but filing it away in his memory “Alrighty then”

The way Max’s shoulders sagged in relief just made him all the more worried.

* * *

It had been nearly two weeks after the bruise incident, and for the most part, Daniel had forgotten all about it. Max had shifted into his usual happy self as soon as they got back to the hotel and put on one of those baking competition shows the Dutchman weirdly loved, so Dan hadn’t had another reason to worry about him.

However, that all changed after qualifying in Silverstone.

It had been a stupid mistake really, the team had gotten some instructions mixed up and as a result Max had finished in a very lousy P11. It hadn’t been the driver’s fault, but Dan knew he would be beating himself up about it.

When he got to Max’s driver’s room he found that the man had already left, and since he wasn’t answering any of his messages he wouldn’t’ have a chance to see him until the next morning either when they both went down to breakfast or until they got to the paddock.

It turned out to be the latter, and Daniel grinned as soon as he saw Max standing next to the car, his back facing towards him. The Aussie quietly creeped up behind him, knowing perfectly well how ticklish Max was and never being one to pass up the opportunity to exploit that fact. When he was directly behind him he dug his fingers into the other man’s sides, but his amusement quickly turned into worry when instead of yelping the Dutchman hissed in pain.

“Shit I’m sorry Max, did I hurt you?”

“Oh, hey Dan” Max tried to grin at him, but it ended up looking more like a grimace “no don’t worry I’m just a little sore”

Daniel frowned “Is your trainer working you too hard?”

“No, not at all. I guess I probably just pulled a muscle”

It would have probably been a good enough explanation for anybody else, but Daniel just had a hunch that it was something more than just regular soreness. He reached out and lifted Max’s shirt as fast as possible, making Max squeak uncomfortably and take a step back.

“What the hell Dan!” he complained, pulling the shirt down with a huff “Ever heard of personal space? Jeez…”

But Daniel wasn’t listening anymore. Although the skin of his torso hadn’t been visible for more than a second, it had been enough to let Daniel see a distinctive bluish stain on the space right underneath his left ribcage.

“Max…” Dan breathed out, his whole face contorted with worry “how did you get that?”

Max once again averted his eyes, “I, um, I ran into a table yesterday”

And well that was the biggest load of bullshit Daniel had ever heard.

“That must have been a pretty hard table” the Australian replied, feeling a little guilty when Max flinched at the tone of his voice.

“You know I bruise easily” he mumbled, bringing both of his hands to rub up and down his forearms in the way he only did when he felt uncomfortable.

“Are you sure you got that from a table?” Daniel asked again, hoping that Max would just tell him the truth no matter how unlikely that was. The Dutchman had never been one to open up about his thoughts and feelings, and even though Dan was one of the select few who could sometimes be let into his life it wasn’t a common occurrence.

“Promise” Max answered, forcing a smile into his face in hopes of reassuring his teammate “now I better go get changed, we need to be out there soon”

Daniel nodded mutely, watching him walk away with a feeling of dread gnawing at his chest.

* * *

The third time it happened wasn’t even during a race weekend.

Dan had tried to stop worrying about Max, but he had never been good at doing that when it came to him. Ever since they met Dan had felt drawn to Max, something about him making him feel as though he had to protect the other man. Maybe it was that he was so young and so _small_ compared to himself – his leanness making him look almost delicate next to Dan’s bulkier form.

Or maybe it was because of how sad his blue eyes could get when he thought no one was watching, or how some days a deep melancholy seemed to roll off of him in waves. Whenever one of those days came by Dan tried extra hard to make Max smile, no matter how many dumb jokes he had to pull out of his ass to make it happen.

Needless to say, the not-worrying thing wasn’t going well.

Dan and Max were hanging out at the latter’s apartment in Monte Carlo, something that had become almost a daily occurrence whenever they were both in town. Max even joked that he should sell his apartment and just move in with him, since he was never there anyways. Daniel had laughed, but he couldn’t help but think that if Max was serious he wouldn’t hesitate to do it.

Some sitcom was playing on the TV but it was really just background noise, since Max and Dan had been talking about everything and anything for a couple of hours now without paying attention to the screen at all.

And even though Daniel was pretty certain there was no better feeling than being inside of an F1 car, he had to admit that these inconsequential days he spent with Max were a close second.

God, and wasn’t that just pathetic?

Daniel wished he could say that he had realized he was in love with Max from the first moment he saw him, or at least that the truth about his feelings had hit him like an epiphany while they were both standing on the balcony and the moonlight was reflecting off of his bright blue eyes – but that was really far from the truth.

The truth was that Dan had realized he was in love with Max when they stopped at a McDonalds one day after a meeting with Christian, and the Australian had said some silly joke that shouldn’t have made Max laugh so hard but did. And suddenly soda was streaming down his nose and he looked so ridiculous like that and _God, Daniel loved him so much_ …

It should’ve been earth-shattering, he should have been shook to his core, he should have felt as though his world had turned upside down. But in reality, coming to terms with how he felt had felt more natural than breathing.

He didn’t plan to let the younger man know about how he felt, of course. Daniel was pretty sure he was straight, and even if he wasn’t he knew that Max could never love someone like him. Max deserved one of those loves one saw in period dramas, he deserved someone larger than life that could sweep him off his feet. And Daniel was, well, Daniel.

So he just resigned himself to this tragic existence, doomed to love someone who would never love him back. His only comfort was that he could still have Max in his life, maybe not in the way he wanted, but having him as a friend was better than not having him at all.

Like he said: pathetic.

When it was nearing lunchtime Max had stood up to check if there was anything edible in his fridge, but at that particular moment Dan had stumbled across a hilarious meme that he just had to show him right that second and so he reached out to grab his wrist and pull the younger man back.

Max actually gave a pained gasp at the motion, and Daniel’s eyes widen in horror.

“Fuck Max, did I hurt you?” Dan fretted, feeling his chest tighten at the pained look that contorted Max’s face.

Dan only realized he was still holding on to him when Max went to pull his wrist away, but something told him not to let go. That same feeling of dread he had been experiencing so often lately suddenly made itself present again, and Dan used his free hand to lift up Max’s sleeve.

His stomach dropped.

Right around Max’s dainty wrist, there was a clear purple circle that stood out from the paleness of his skin. It looked like it couldn’t have appeared more than a few days before, and as Dan gently rotated the wrist with his hands he felt fury bubbling up his throat when he noticed that it wasn’t just a randomly shaped bruise. They were finger marks, no doubt about it.

“Max…” was all Dan could say, his brain going into overdrive as he started wondering who could have done this to him, why would anyone do this to him and how could Dan find them so he could murder that person –

The Dutchman took advantage of his shock to draw his arm back, hastily pulling down the sleeve of his shirt with trembling fingers. Daniel was then hit with the realization that he was wearing long sleeves in thirty degree heat.

“Dan I –“

“No,” Daniel interrupted, surprising even himself with how steely his voice sounded “don’t you dare say that you ran into a door, or that you fell of a stool, or that you tripped on a pebble”

Max had the decency to look ashamed at the reminder of his excuses, and normally Dan would have felt guilty for putting that expression on his face but right now his mind was clouded by anger.

“Why won’t you tell me who’s doing this to you?”

The younger man gulped, knowing perfectly well that he couldn’t easily bullshit his way out of explaining this time.

When he finally answered, his voice was barely above a whisper “Just leave it alone Dan, please”

But those words that were meant to be reassuring only managed to anger Daniel further, the confirmation that it hadn’t in fact been an accident hitting him harder than a kick to the stomach.

“Fuck that,” Daniel bristled, aggressively standing up from the couch “I’m not just going to stand here when I know someone is hurting you Max, who the fuck did this?”

Tears were starting to gather on Max’s eyes, and even though all Dan wanted was to grab him in his arms and hug him until he couldn’t feel them anymore he knew that he needed to press on.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle Dan, please –“

“Bullshit!” he yelled, and at the sound of his booming voice it was as if something triggered inside of Max, making him take a couple of staggering steps back and away from Daniel.

Daniel felt like he couldn’t breathe.

He had never seen Max looked more terrified in his life. His whole body was shaking, and it seemed as though he was trying to make himself as little as possible, curling up around himself to take up less space.

“Maxy,” Dan managed to say through the lump in his throat “I – you know I would never…”

Max still looked seconds away from breaking down, and now Dan also felt as though he was on the verge of tears. He tentatively stepped closer to the younger man, raising his hands slightly in a placating motion so he wouldn’t freak out.

The Dutchman’s breaths were coming out in short little gasps, but thankfully he didn’t step away from Daniel again, instead letting himself be wrapped on the older man’s arms. The second Dan hugged him it was as if something broke, and Max let himself collapse into his arms as violent sobs wrecked through his body.

It was the most horrible sound Dan had ever heard, every gasp feeling like a blow that went straight to his heart.

Daniel lifted Max into his arms and carried him over to the sofa, running gentle fingers through his hair as he whispered comforting words.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Max. I promise I would never hurt you, you’re safe with me okay? You’re always safe with me”

They stayed like that for nearly an hour, until exhaustion finally won out and Max fell asleep still cradled against Daniel’s chest.

Max looked so peaceful while he slept, and the almost angelic aura he radiated made Daniel’s anger flare up once again. He vowed to himself that he would never let anyone lay a hand on him again, no matter what he had to do to keep that promise.

* * *

It was a few days later when Daniel invited Carlos, Lando and Charles over to his home so they could all hang out together. He had also invited Max of course, but the other man had declined with the excuse that “he had some errands to run”.

Ever since Dan had confronted Max about the bruises he had been predictably distant, barely answering his messages and avoiding him like the plague whenever they had to be in the same vicinity. Daniel still kicked himself for falling asleep while holding Max, because when he woke up the other man had been nowhere to be found.

“Have any of you guys noticed anything wrong with Max lately?”

The suddenness of the question made the other drivers fall silent, all of them turning to look at Dan in confusion.

“What do you mean?” Carlos asked, concern instantly taking over his face at the mention of his friend.

Daniel sighed. He knew that Max would be furious at him if he found out that he was even considering telling their friends about what he’d seen. But Dan couldn’t just stand by anymore, he needed to make sure that Max was safe, and if he couldn’t do that by himself then he would get all the reinforcements needed.

“I mean… that lately I’ve been noticing bruises on him, but not just random bruises” Daniel began, finding it hard to even talk about it “They’re too big to be accidental, and a few days ago I even saw one that had the shape of a hand, as if someone had squeezed his wrist very tightly”

The three men looked absolutely outraged at what Daniel had just told him, and the Australian felt as though he could finally breathe at not needing to carry that burden all by himself.

“Someone’s hurting Max?” Lando exclaimed, clenching his fists tightly in anger at the thought of anyone harming his best friend.

Dan nodded in affirmation “He basically confirmed it to me, but he just told me to leave it alone”

He decided to leave out the part where Max had broken down against his arms, deciding that they didn’t need to know that.

“Well we need to find out who that _hijo de puta_ is so we can go and murder them” Carlos raged, standing up to pace around the room in agitation.

“That’s the thing though, Max won’t tell me anything and I don’t know where to begin”

The room fell silent at that once more; all of them trying to come up with any solution that could help them help Max.

After a few minutes, Charles hesitantly spoke up “… I think I have an idea of who it might be”

Daniel, Carlos and Lando looked at him expectantly at those words, and Charles took a deep breath before continuing.

“There’s always been rumors about it, ever since we were little” the Monegasque began, making Daniel remember that he had known Max longer than anyone else “My mom never liked him, she said that it wasn’t okay for a father to treat his son the way he treated Max”

Just like that, Daniel felt like a cold bucket of water had been dumped all over him.

Of course. _Of course_.

It wasn’t a coincidence that a new bruise would suddenly appear after Max had had a bad day at the track, it wasn’t a coincidence that he always wore extra layers of clothing after spending time with his family, it wasn’t a coincidence that he always looked tense whenever that man was around.

Carlos let out a shaky breath “Charles… do you really think Jos would physically hurt Max?”

Charles didn’t answer, he didn’t have to, because deep down they all knew the answer.

* * *

They hadn’t managed to come up with a plan after their little impromptu meeting at Daniel’s house, but they had all vowed to get together again soon so they could figure out what to do.

Dan had never felt as shitty as he had been lately, he found it impossible to sleep when his mind was constantly plagued by the thought that Max could be getting hurt at any moment, that Max could be suffering and that he wasn’t doing anything to protect him.

He was trying to find a solution day and night, and the dark circles around his eyes were testament to that. Daniel just had to find a way to get Max to listen to him, so he could know that Daniel was perfectly able to keep him safe, and that he didn’t need to put up with his piece of shit of a father any longer.

And an opportunity presented itself way sooner than he had thought it would.

Something had gone wrong with the damn engines again, forcing both Max’s and Daniel’s practice sessions to be cut short. Dan found himself going in search of Max as soon as he got out of the car, since the Dutchman had needed to abandon the track a few minutes before he had.

Since everyone was still busy with checking data and trying to figure out what the problem had been, the Red Bull motorhome was virtually empty – and that was the only reason why Dan stumbled into a sight that made his blood run cold.

Jos Verstappen had Max backed up against the wall, hurling furious insults at his son while the young man cowered against the concrete. The sight was so shocking that Dan actually froze up for a few seconds, but as soon as he saw Jos’s fist come up, his vision turned red.

Daniel was across the room and next to the two men in an instant, and with a swift move he intercepted the older man’s fist and used the momentum to push him against the wall.

Jos was visibly startled, obviously not expecting anyone to see what he had been about to do to his son. Oh but Dan had seen enough, and he was absolutely livid.

“Don’t you _dare_ lay a hand on him” Daniel snarled, nearly baring his teeth like a wild animal would before pouncing on his prey.

Max’s father had gotten over his initial shock and now looked just as furious as the Australian, even more so when he tried and failed to get out from his grip.

“And just who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how to educate my son?”

Daniel wanted nothing more than to connect his fist to Jos’s jaw, but somehow he managed to restrain himself and instead opted to lean dangerously close to the man’s face.

“I’m the man who will kill you if you ever come near him again”

There was a tense silence that stretched out for almost an entire minute, the only sound being Daniel and Jos’s labored breathing and the small sobs coming from Max’s direction. Just when Daniel thought that things were indeed going to get violent, Jos let out an angry huff and shrugged the Australian’s hands off him.

Daniel cautiously let the man step away from him, but still positioned himself strategically in front of Max instead Jos was just trying to lull him into a false sense of security.

If looks could kill then the two drivers would be six feet under, but as it was Daniel didn’t feel the need to drop Jos’s murderous glare for a second.

“This isn’t over,” Jos raised a threatening finger “I could sue you for this”

Daniel scoffed “You try that and I’ll sue you right back for abusing your own child”

Jos finally seemed to realize he wasn’t going to win that day, and with barely another glance at his hysterical son he turned right on his heel and stormed off the building.

Dan allowed himself to relax until Jos had exited the premises, and as soon as he turned around to check on Max his previously steely gaze turned into an impressively soft one at the sight of him.

Max’s eyes were barely visible from how puffy they had gotten, and tear tracks stood out as clear as day against his red cheeks even as more fresh tears continued to fall. Dan didn’t think he had ever seen Max look as wrecked as he was right now.

He didn’t even hesitate to take the younger man into his arms, replacing the wall as the only thing that could hold up his shaking form.

“Shh, shh Maxy it’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay now, I promise”

Max was still hysterical, hiccups wrecking his entire body as he desperately clutched at Daniel’s shirt. Dan just held him tighter with every sob that left his throat, trying to stop him from shaking so violently in fear that he would hurt himself.

“I’m sorry,” Max managed to gasp out “I’m so sorry, I’m so weak I – you shouldn’t have needed to – “

“Stop,” Daniel interrupted him roughly, not wanting to let him finish that thought “you don’t have to apologize, not to me and not to anyone else. This is _not_ your fault do you hear me? This is entirely on that fucking asshole”

Max could only cry in response to that, burying his face against Daniel’s neck so he could try and focus on his warmth and not on all the emotions that were wreaking havoc throughout his body.

Daniel had the good sense to lead them both into his driver’s room before anyone could see Max in that state, and the perceived safety of the little room coupled with Dan’s reassuring words and motions helped the younger man breathe more regularly after what had felt like hours but had realistically been about thirty minutes.

“I’m sorry” Max spoke against Daniel’s neck, when he was sure his words wouldn’t come out like a blubbering mess again.

Dan pulled away from Max at those words and tried in vain to catch his gaze, not being able to do so until he brought a gentle hand to cup his cheek and thus he was forced to make eye contact with him.

“You don’t have to apologize for anything Max, you’re so strong for putting up with what that sorry excuse for a human being put you through. You shouldn’t have had to do it, but you did and I’m so proud of you”

Fresh tears gathered around Max’s eyes at that, but this time they were for reasons completely unrelated to his father.

“Thank you,” Max murmured, his face so close to Dan’s that the Australian could feel his hot breath hitting his face “you didn’t have to stand up for me but you did”

Daniel gulped “I’ll always take care of you”

“It’s rotten work”

“Not to me, not if it’s you”

A whole new emotion took over Max’s face after that, and before Daniel could even realize what was about to happen the younger man closed the little distance that was still between them and pressed his lips against his.

Daniel’s heart felt as if it was about to explode. He felt revolutions, fireworks, world wars inside him and he knew that racing had just been relegated to the second best feeling he had ever experienced because holy _fuck_ there was no way there could ever be anything that was better than this.

Max tangled his hands on Daniel’s curly hair, pressing himself closer to him and trying to pour out everything he was feeling through the kiss – knowing perfectly well that there was no way he could find the words that did justice to what he felt for his older teammate.

They only separated when the risk for asphyxiation was becoming a very real possibility, but even then they kept their foreheads pressed together, neither man wanting to let go in fear that the other would somehow vanish.

They basked on each other’s presence for a few seconds longer, and before long both their faces were stretching out into massive grins that probably made them look like absolute lunatics.

“I love you,” Daniel finally said, feeling like he could fly when the words he had been carrying inside for so long finally left his body “God Max, _I love you_ ”

When the words registered on Max’s brain, he almost felt dizzy at how surreal it all felt. He’d never allowed himself to fully accept that what he felt for Daniel ran way deeper than normal friendship would, never mind think that Daniel could actually _return his feelings._

“I love you too” Max breathed out, and somehow Daniel’s grin got even bright, so much so that Max was sure even the sun had to be jealous of how bright the Australian shone.

Daniel let out a delighted laugh, cradling Max’s face to kiss him once again.

No matter all the terrible things they had been through to get to where they were right now, they knew that nothing could trump the elation they felt at knowing the other actually loved them back.

Max had never felt safer than he did in Daniel’s embrace, because hugging him, _kissing him_ , felt like coming home, and he knew that he never wanted the other man to let him go.

Which was just as well, because Dan certainly wasn’t planning to, not in his life, if Max let him.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone recognises the quote I used, just know I had to slip it in here because it always makes me emo when I come across it. I hadn't written angst in a while so I really hope you all like this, and as always please do leave kudos and/or comments because they inspire me to keep writing and they make me the happiest person in the world.
> 
> Finally I once again urge you to come find me on my tumblr @mexstappen or @mexisco so we can talk about F1 and maybe even give me inspiration for future fics :)


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